A Decisive Action
The declaration that recovery matters enough to you that you are willing to do something this momentous to make it happen is one that your eating disorder will most certainly be extremely opposed to.
Full recovery being placed as the number one priority – with nothing to excuse or distract you from actually getting on with it – is a complete and utter threat to its existence. Not only is such a decisive choice likely to interrupt activities that are genuinely very important to you, but it’s a statement that leaves action to be imminent.
This second part of the blog series will discuss how and why one’s purpose must be: recovery, when it is to be actually achieved.
A Temporary Purpose:
Most people, myself included, reach a full recovery from their eating disorder when they make it their life’s purpose to fully recover.
That means: Recovery comes before absolutely anything else in the world.
If that sounds unappealing or unnecessary to you, I absolutely get it. It did for me too. Not only in an ED fear sense, but in an enjoyment-of-life sense.
Nevertheless, I want you to consider how not making recovery your life’s purpose has worked out so far. Has it led you to freedom?
Or, has it led you to functioning in quasi state; one that feels like being suspended in a no man’s land between full life and ill health, unable to reach out; one where every decision requires several factors considered and micromanaged; one which is guilt-inducing from either your healthy self or ED…?
I suspect the latter because that’s why you’re here reading this blog.
Being honest
Before putting recovery above all else, I suspect that somewhere deep, deep down (probably right to the base of my heels) I would have had some level of awareness that I was distracting myself from fully engaging in recovery. Though I wouldn’t have readily admitted it, I’m certain that I would have been able to see that my actions were not indicative of recovery prioritisation over all else. I am also sure that I would have been able to see that I couldn’t “do both” (do recovery + simultaneously try to continue living a normal life) as I had been attempting to. And further, I am sure I would have somewhat acknowledged that in actuality and quite ironically, my efforts to “do both” were leaving both heavily compromised. Life and recovery were happening at a sub-par intensity and fulfilment.
So, when you find yourself thinking cynically about my suggestion that one needs to make it their life’s purpose to fully recover, please do persist with the rest of this blog.
Because what could be worse than having nothing to do but think about food and recovery?
Never fully recovering.
Key ingredients for recovery
I once watched a video (I can’t exactly recall from who) that stated: In order to fully recover from an eating disorder, an individual needs 4 things:
A mouth. Hands. Food. A sofa.
From how direct and to the point that statement is, the pool of whom it could have been who made such a video is fairly narrow!
Though I agree that those are essential components, to that mix, I’d say that most people will require a couple of additional ingredients to facilitate their recovery and make it a smoother process. One of those is some level of support / a check-in buddy, the other two are:
Time
Energy.
When my recovery wasn’t being prioritised, it was the time and energy resources that were absent. I had less time that I needed to focus on recovery, and I had less mental energy than necessary to spend on my recovery because it was being distributed elsewhere. To end this section of this series, I leave you with a question to ponder.
I believe you have the first 4 ingredients of a successful recovery (A mouth, hands, food, a sofa). Is your current occupation or activity that is fulling your day leaving you lacking in the other resources that I mentioned will vastly aid a recovery effort: Time and (mental & physical) energy?
I pose this question for a few reasons. Recovery from anorexia is hard. It takes time, consistency and hard work – all of which can be completely exhausting. If you are spreading your limited energy resources elsewhere, you are simply not going to have enough to give towards your recovery. The other reason I ask this is that if you are growing wildly frustrated at your lack of progress, but there are clear barriers making progress unlikely – you must do what you can to fix that.
Part 3 will begin the meaty discussion of pros and cons. You can read that here.
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